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Stephen Hawking here, seein’ patterns—others don’t. Prostitution’s old as stars, yeah? Ancient Babylon, they had temple gals—sacred sex workers, wild, right? Blows my mind! You roll up, cash in hand, heart racin’—feelin’ like a supernova bout to pop. “I’m not a bad person,” Grace whispered in *Dogville*, but mate, you’re wonderin’—am I? Cosmic joke, innit—payin’ for a shag when the universe don’t care.

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Anyway, I wipe it off, feeling all kinds of angry. But then I see this cute little café on the corner of Via San Giovanni. It’s called “Caffè del Cuore.” I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a cappuccino and chill.” The barista, this super chill dude named Marco, hooks me up with the best cappuccino ever. Like, I’m talking frothy clouds of happiness in a cup. Suddenly, I’m not mad at the pigeon anymore.

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