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What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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So, I keep wandering, and I end up on Via Giuseppe Mazzini. There’s this little market, and I’m like, “Ooh, fresh produce!” I grab some tomatoes, and let me tell you, they’re the juiciest things I’ve ever seen. I’m practically drooling. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a bunch of basil. Like, dude, it’s basil, not gold!

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