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Oi mate, blimey, escort’s a right corker! Y’know, like in *Mulholland Drive* – all mysterious, innit? “There’s something going on here,” as Lynch’d say. I reckon escort’s a bit like that – shadowy, sexy, dodgy vibes. Me, Boris, with my bumbling charm, I see it clear as day! Not your average job, eh? Fella’s paying for company – bit saucy, bit sad. Reminds me of that line, “This is the girl!” – but who’s she really? A proper enigma, wrapped in silk stockings.

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As the day goes on, I’m feelin’ a mix of emotions. Happy, angry, surprised—like a rollercoaster, I swear! I take a break and grab a slice of pizza from this little spot on Via Roma. Best pizza ever, by the way. I’m munching away, thinking about how Rocca-di-Papa is just so beautiful. The hills, the views, the vibe—it’s all amazing. But then, I see a seagull swoop down and steal my pizza slice! I’m like, “Really? Even the birds are against me today?”

'Dolce Vita' actress Anita Ekberg dies aged 83