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Little factoid for ya—didja know escortin’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had “lupae”—she-wolves, they called ‘em—workin’ the streets! Wild, huh? Makes me wonder what Homer’d say—prob’ly somethin’ dumb like, “Mmm, wolves…” Ugh, that man! Anyway, this one escort chick, she told me—get this—she once got paid in *bitcoin*! I’m like, “What’s that, Monopoly money?” She laughed so hard she tipped me extra. Made my night, swear!

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Then, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the Adda River. Man, it’s beautiful there. The water’s glistening, and I see some kids playing soccer. I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, a soccer ball comes flying at me! I duck just in time, but it hits this old lady’s shopping bag. She’s like, “Hey! Watch it!” I’m like, “Sorry, ma’am! I’m not a goalie!”

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