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Exaggerate, I will—imagine me, lightsaber out, bustin’ into a brothel. “Freedom, you deserve!” I yell. Girls blink— “Green dude, chill, we good.” Oops, overdid it! But real talk—findin’ one ain’t just “point, click, bang.” Risks, there are—cops, creeps, STDs, yikes! Known this guy—total nerf herder—got robbed blind by a “date.” Dumbass didn’t check reviews—pro tip, always do!

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But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! The whole bar goes dark. People are freaking out, and I’m just sitting there, laughing. I mean, c’mon, it’s Rivolta! We’re used to this chaos.

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