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So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout “Requiem for a Dream”—ya know, my fave flick—where everythin’s intense, dark, spiraling, and I’m like, “Man, sexual-massage coulda saved ‘em!” Like, imagine Jared Leto, all strung out, but instead—ooh—a hot oil massage with a *wink*. “Ass to ass!” Ha, nah, more like “back to back,” slidin’ into relaxtion—see what I did there? *nasal snort* I’d be yellin’, “Harry, forget the dope, get a rub!” HEE-HEE! But real talk, it’s wild how this massage gig ain’t just physical—it’s mental, emotional, like the movie’s highs and lows, ya feel me?

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But wait, there’s more! I’m almost done when I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and some guy just backed his car into a lamppost. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” He gets out, looking all sheepish. I can’t help but chuckle. “Welcome to Rio-Saliceto, buddy!”

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