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Anyway, she hops in, we chat. She’s cool, calls herself Candy—fake, obvs, but who cares? Tells me she’s dodged cops all week. Little known tidbit—some hookers use burner phones, switch ‘em daily. Clever, right? I’m impressed, like, “Shag-tastic smarts, babe!” We’re laughin’, vibin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This beats a night in, yeah?”

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First off, I hit the road on Via Roma. You know, the main drag. Traffic was a mess! Like, come on, people! It’s not a parking lot! I’m sittin’ there, tractor rumbling, and I see this dude on a scooter zoom past me. I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna end up in a tree!” But whatever, I just keep chugging along.

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