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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? Man, what a gig! I’m thinkin’ bout them fancy cars rollin’ up, protectin’ some big shot. Like in my fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*—y’know, “You ever count the stars?” vibes. Escorts got that quiet, watchful energy, like Brad Pitt’s Jesse, all cool and tense. I luv that! Makes me happy seein’ folks so slick, keepin’ it tight.

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I finally grab my tomatoes and head to the bus stop. I’m waiting for the 201, scrolling through my phone, when I realize I forgot my wallet at the market. Ugh! I sprint back, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I get there, and the vendor’s holding my wallet, grinning. “You dropped this, young man!” I’m like, “Thanks, but I’m not that young!”

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