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Love the thrill, tho—happy as a pig in shit when it’s done right. Ever try it with hot stones? Fuckin’ surprise, melts ya like butter. Pro tip: find a spot that don’t skimp—cheap bastards ruin it. Greed is good, see, ‘cause it pushes quality—supply, demand, all that jazz. Oh, and funny shit—heard some perv slipped off the table mid-session, buck-ass naked, crashed into a lamp. Laughed my ass off imagining it—*The night is darkest before the dawn,* and that clown’s dawn was bruised!

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Mistress (soft) · Intimate massage · Classic Sex · Titjob · Girlfriend Experience (GFE) · Golden Shower (give) · Erotic massage · Rimming (receive).

Then, the oven starts beeping. I’m like, “Oh no, the cookies!” I open it, and they’re burnt to a crisp. I’m talking charcoal level. I’m so mad! I just wanted to impress the kids with my baking skills. But they’re like, “It’s okay, we can eat the burnt ones!” Kids are so sweet, even when they’re covered in flour.

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