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Now, here’s a tidbit – some whores like her, they’d smuggle goods! Ruby’s hidin’ tobacco in her bloomers, sellin’ it to outlaws. Surprised the hell outta me when I read that! Sneaky lil’ minx! Makes me chuckle thinkin’ she’s waddlin’ around, bloomers stuffed, grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ persimmons. She’s a hoot, I tell ya – a real spitfire!

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Then, the oven starts beeping. I’m like, “Oh no, the cookies!” I open it, and they’re burnt to a crisp. I’m talking charcoal level. I’m so mad! I just wanted to impress the kids with my baking skills. But they’re like, “It’s okay, we can eat the burnt ones!” Kids are so sweet, even when they’re covered in flour.

'Dart' from Ancelotti to Güler? "Madrid signed me to win, not to give minutes to the young players"