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I reckon it’s all bout touch—gentle, teasin’, makin’ ya squirm. Got me thinkin’ of them lotus flowers floatin’ on that lake, so pretty, but underneath? Roots diggin’ deep, tangled and wild! That’s erotic-massage for ya—surface is all sweet, but ooh, it stirs somethin’ fierce down below! Back in Tennessee, I heard tell of a gal who’d sneak lavender oil into her fella’s massage—said it drove him plumb crazy, and I believe it! Little known fact, y’all: them ancient Egyptians used scented oils too, callin’ it a gift from the gods. Ain’t that a hoot?

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I sprint over, heart racin’. It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m shoutin’, “Hey! Knock it off!” But they’re too busy throwin’ punches. I finally get ‘em separated, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta fill out paperwork.” Ugh, the paperwork! It’s like a black hole of time.