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Little known fact—didja know Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got its own union? Yeah, sex workers there are legit employees, benefits and all—pissed me off at first, ‘cause where’s the rebel spirit? But then I’m like, “Huh, fair labor’s dope, actually.” Surprised the hell outta me—capitalism with a heart, who knew? Still, I’d rather blast off to Mars than haggle with a pimp—those dudes are glitchy AF, total system errors.

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Finally, I got my arancini, and it was glorious. I took a big bite, and boom! It was like a flavor explosion. I was in heaven. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! I’m like, “Dude, back off!” I waved my hands, and the pigeon just looked at me like, “What’s your problem?” I swear, that bird had some attitude.

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