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Here’s a laugh—some bloke tried claimin’ “emotional distress” from a bad rubdown. Said it ruined his mojo! I’m like, “Mate, ya can’t insure yer shagability!” Sarcasm on max, yeah? Still, sexual-massage ain’t all giggles—lawsuits pop up, freaky accidents, oil spills (not like Plainview’s, ha!). Surprised me how messy it gets—figuratively, literally, baby!

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Then I stroll down to the Castello di Racconigi. This place is epic! I mean, it’s a castle, right? I’m thinking, “I should totally live here.” But then I remember I can’t afford the rent. LOL. Anyway, I’m wandering around, and the gardens are just stunning. Like, I’m talking Instagram-worthy. I snap a few pics, and then BAM! A bee decides I’m its new best friend. I’m flailing like a maniac, trying to dodge this thing. I’m like, “Chill, dude! I’m not your flower!”

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