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Funny bit: she asks, “You a cop?” I’m like, “No, I’m the Dark Lord, dumbass!” She cackles—best laugh I’ve heard in years. Almost makes me soft—almost. “I am your father,” I growl, just to freak her out. Works every time. Anyway, we seal the deal—quick, dirty, no lightsaber tricks. “This city deserves a better class of criminal,” I think, leavin’ her there. Maybe I’m it, haha!

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So, I’m walking back, feeling all cute and stuff, when I see my buddy Marco. He’s standing outside the bar, looking all suave. I’m like, “Dude, what’s up?” He tells me he just won a local poker game. I’m like, “Nice! Buy me a drink!” He laughs and says, “Only if you wear that pink umbrella!” Ugh, friends, am I right?

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