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About Rome

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Via Montalbano, dodging old ladies and their shopping carts. Like, come on, lady, I got teeth to fix! I finally get to the lab, and guess what? My buddy Marco is already there, blasting some weird techno music. I mean, who even listens to that at 8 AM? I’m like, “Dude, it’s too early for this!” But he just laughs and cranks it up. Ugh.

Olimpia Quarrata triumphs at the 1st Paolo Parlanti Memorial, defeating Lucchese on penalties