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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, hissin’ actuary in Russia, da? Talkin’ ‘bout whores—nasty, tricksy business, it is! “Spring Breakers” – my fave, yesss, all that wild, glittery chaos. Reminds me of her—whore, slinkin’ round Moscow shadows. We hates her, we loves her, split mind screamin’! She’s like Faith in the flick, y’know? “I’m fuckin’ spring break, bitches!” she’d hiss, struttin’ in ripped fishnets.

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Then, I wandered over to the Chiesa di Santa Maria del Carmine. Man, that place is stunning! The frescoes are like, outta this world. I was just standing there, soaking it all in, when this old lady came up to me. She started telling me about the history of the church, and I was like, “Wow, lady, you’re a walking history book!” She was so passionate, it made me happy.

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