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Aight, so check this—did ya know, ancient China was all over this? They called it some fancy name, like “tuina” or somethin’, but it was sneaky sexual-massage vibes. Emperors gettin’ it, concubines workin’ it—history’s freaky, fam! I’m hyped just thinkin’ bout it—like, imagine me, Kanye, in a silk robe, gettin’ that royal treatment. Straight up, I’d be droppin’ bars mid-massage, “I’m a god, rub me right!”

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“Where are you?” she texts. I’m like, “Uh, stuck in a mudslide, BRB.” But I can’t just leave, right? I mean, I’m the admin. Gotta keep things runnin’. So, I start helpin’ out. Grab a shovel, get my hands dirty. Who knew I’d be a mud-slinger today?

Silvana La Rocca, stabbed to death in the garden: her son arrested, confessed