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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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After a while, I’m covered in muck, but I feel kinda good. Like, I’m doin’ somethin’ for my community. Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re a good boy!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m a mess!” But it made me smile.

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