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Still, sexual-massage got that magic, ya know? Ain’t just horny vibes—relieves stress, boosts ya blood flow. Docs say it pumps endorphins, makes ya grin like a twat. But don’t get it twisted—some dodgy spots offer “extras,” and I ain’t about that life. Keep it legit, fam! Had this one geezer tell me his masseuse started hummin’ chants—swear down, thought she’d summon a demon mid-rub. Laughed me arse off, bruv!

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By the time I head back to my hotel, I’m exhausted but happy. I think about how crazy today was. From the cappuccino disaster to the food festival, it was a rollercoaster.