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But yo, check this—back in 2015, some dude in Cali matched 500 chicks in a month. Bragged about it online, called it “The Tinder Experiment.” Fucker got laid thrice—thrice! Rest was just chats. Hilarious, innit? Shows ya—sex-dating’s more headgame than bedgame. Gets me hyped tho—people’s desperation? Wildly entertaining. Like watchin’ Margaret lose her shit, yellin’, “You’re all so full of it!” Same energy—swipers actin’ all cool, but they’re thirsty AF.

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So, I’m dodging pigeons and feeling all kinds of annoyed. Then I remember, hey, I need coffee. Like, life juice, right? I swing by this little café on Via Garibaldi. The barista, bless her heart, is super friendly. She’s like, “Ciao! What can I get ya?” I’m like, “Just a cappuccino, please.” But then she goes and gives me a double shot. I’m buzzing like a bee on steroids now. Thanks, lady!

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