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About Milan

What gets me blood boiling tho – them stuck-up suits who reckon it’s all dodgy. Oi, loosen up, yeah? It’s therapeutic, sensual, not some grubby secret! I’m sat there, thinking, “If I can feel love, I *am* love,” like lil’ David from the flick – it’s deep, mate! The best bit? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks! I’m like, “That’s the money shot, team!” Total Brent-ism, I know, cringe but gold.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park, Parco della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees, benches, the whole vibe. I’m just vibing, sipping my coffee, when I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m thinking, “Man, I haven’t flown a kite since I was, like, 10.” So, I’m feeling nostalgic, right? I start daydreaming about my childhood, and BAM! I spill coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking coffee stain.

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