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About Milan

The apps tho, they’re a maze—swipe, chat, ghostin’, it’s like layers of a dream, fam. “You’re in a dream within a dream!” I’m yellin’ at me phone sometimes, ’cos lads be promisin’ the world, then vanish. Pissed me off last week—chatted this bird for days, thought we was golden, then poof, gone. Reckon she found a richer geezer, innit. Gutted me, but also, fair play—sex-dating’s a jungle, bruv.

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Then, I hit up the local market on Via Dante. OMG, the fresh produce! I’m talking tomatoes so red they look like they’re blushing. I grab a few, and this lady next to me starts chatting. She’s all, “You gotta try the melons!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not here for a fruit lesson.” But she’s persistent. So, I grab a melon. Spoiler alert: it was bomb!

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