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Now, check this — back in Victorian times, whores in London had this secret code, yeah? They’d flash a red hanky to signal punters. Little known fact, that! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ they was proper sly, like Jesse James plannin’ his next move. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me brew, goin’, “That’s gangster, innit!” But then, I get vexed, cos society’s always judgin’ ‘em. Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos they’re whores, and people can’t handle the realness.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the park near the beach. The air smells like salt and freedom. I’m just about to relax when I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take a selfie with a seagull. A SEAGULL! I mean, really? The bird’s like, “Nah, I’m not your prop.” I can’t help but laugh.

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