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Oh, and don’t get me started on the weirdos—some dude asked for a happy endin’ with a foot rub. Foot rub?! Gimme a break! I’d fire his ass from my table. But when it’s done right? Heaven. Greed is good, pal—greedy hands, greedy vibes, all of it. Makes me happy as a pig in shit. Ever tried it with warm stones? Freakin’ wild—feels like lava, but sexy lava. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares!

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After that, I head over to Piazza della Libertà. It’s usually buzzing with life. But today? It’s like a ghost town. I’m thinking, “Where is everyone?” Then I remember, it’s market day! I rush over to the stalls, and wow, the fresh produce is insane. I grab some tomatoes and a loaf of that amazing local bread. But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle. She’s fierce! I’m talking full-on Italian grandma mode. She’s waving her hands, yelling in dialect. I can’t help but laugh.

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