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Then there’s the apps—Grindr, Tinder, whatever. Total chaos, like jihadists in *Timbuktu*. “No law but their own,” right? Peeps makin’ rules— “no fats, no fems”—wtf? Pissed me off, legit. But yo, found this dope fact—back in ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy af. Imagine, “Hairy Wookiee seeks mate”—that’s me, haha! Rarrgh! Surprised me how far we’ve come—or not.

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Then, the phone rings. It’s my buddy Luca. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the beach!” I’m like, “Luca, I’m knee-deep in flour!” But he’s persistent. So, I’m thinkin’, why not? I close up shop early, and off I go to the beach at Porto Potenza Picena.

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