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Fun fact, tho—escorts been around FOREVER. Like, Ancient Rome had ‘em. Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, how dope is that? Howlin’ for that coin, YOLO. Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout that in history class, tho. Schools sleepin’ on the real tea. Oh, and get this—some escorts got secret codes. Hand signals, fake names, all that spy shit. Keeps ‘em safe, lowkey genius.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, extra foam, unicorn latte. I’m just like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a fairy tale.” But whatever, I’m not judging. I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. Like, the foam art? A heart! I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

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