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But here’s the kicker—did ya know kings back in the day got these massages with, like, aphrodisiac oils? Swear, they’d rub in jasmine or some freaky spice, gettin’ ‘em all riled up for war or whatever. Wild, right? Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans been chasin’ that buzz forever—ain’t nothin’ new under the sun. Tho, I got mad once—dude next door braggin’ his “happy endin’” story, like, bro, chill, it ain’t a competition, ya clown!

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We decide to grab some pizza at Da Nino. OMG, best decision ever! The pizza is like a slice of heaven. I’m talking crispy crust, fresh toppings, the works. I’m in food paradise. But then, my buddy spills his drink all over the table. I’m like, “Dude, what are you doing?”

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