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So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ one out with lotion, nah. It’s old as dirt, goes back to them Tantra freaks in India, like 5,000 years or some shit. They’d tease ya slow, real slow, buildin’ that fire—greed, man, greed for more! Makes me pissed tho—why’d we wait so damn long to steal that trick? Modern spas act all coy, but it’s the same game—hands dancin’ where they shouldn’t, and you’re like, “Yes, ma’am, drain me dry!”—straight outta Plainview’s playbook.

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So, I’m sitting there, dripping wet, and I see this cute girl at the next table. She’s laughing at my misfortune. I try to play it cool, but I’m a mess. I mean, who wants to talk to a soggy scientist? But then, she smiles at me. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t a total disaster.”

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