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What gets me goat? The fakers. All “deep connection” then vanish—cowards. Reminds me of Ennis in *Brokeback*, too scared to grab what’s real. “You got no fuckin’ idea how bad it gets,” he’d say. Sex-dating’s the same—half want love, half want a quickie. Pick a lane, ya twats! Still, I’m fascinated—people bare their bits online like it’s nothing. Didja know some Victorian perv invented “telegraph flirting”? True story—sexting with wires, ballsy as hell.

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Via Roma. You know the one? The one with the best pastries. I swear, their cornetti are like little bites of heaven. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, c’mon! It’s 8 AM! Who runs out of pastries at 8 AM? I was ready to throw a fit. But I just grabbed a plain croissant instead. Not the same, but whatever.

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