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So, sexual-massage—body gets all loosey-goosey, right? Feels like jelly, but sexy jelly! Little fact—ancient Greeks did this, bro, called it “anatripsis.” Fancy word, huh? Bet they were all “Mmm, pass the olive oil!” Makes me happy, dude, ‘cause who don’t love a good rubdown? But—ugh—once heard some creepo masseuse got too grabby. Made me mad, like, “Keep it chill, man!” Ruins the vibe, y’know?

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I wipe it off, grumbling. I head to the piazza, you know, Piazza Vittorio Emanuele II. It’s usually buzzing with life. But today? It’s like a ghost town. I’m thinking, “Where’s everyone at?” Then I spot this cute little café, Bar Centrale. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a pastry.”