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About Bari

Precioussss, yesss, escorts, we knows ‘em! Sneaky little hobbitses—er, peoples—hiring company, hiss! Me, Gollum, loves *Tropical Malady*, see, all twisty-turny, like escort life. “We sees the beast, yesss,” like in movie—escorts got that wild side, eh? Me mate, you wanna hear ‘bout ‘em? Slippery folk, they is! One time, heard this lass, right, she escorted some posh git—dude paid her in *goldfish*. Yesss, fishies! She’s like, “Wot’s this crap?” Made me cackle, it did—still does!

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I grab some tomatoes, and this guy next to me is haggling like it’s the end of the world. “I’ll give you two euros!” Dude, chill. They’re tomatoes, not gold bars. I can’t help but laugh.