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About Genoa

Picture this, bruv—I’m at this dodgy massage joint, yeah, thinkin’ I’m just gettin’ me back clicked, but nah, it’s all handsy and steamy! I’m like, “Is it ‘cos I is black?” ‘cos the geezer’s givin’ me these mad looks while he’s oilin’ me up. Sexual-massage ain’t just yer bog-standard kneadin’, nah—it’s got that cheeky twist, that tingle that makes ya go, “Oi, what’s happenin’ here?!” Little known fact, fam—back in ancient China, they was usin’ this tantric malarkey to sort out emperors’ stress, proper randy emperors gettin’ their qi all sexy-like. Mad, innit?

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So, I decide to approach him. “Hey, superstar! You’re not a wet noodle after all!” He cracks a smile. Finally! Progress! We chat, and I find out he’s just nervous about a big match coming up. I get it. I’ve been there.

Don Euro: Italian ex-priest jailed for extortion