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Ever tried it? I did once – exaggerated fer drama, o’ course – felt like a king reborn! The masseuse, she’s whisperin’, “Relax, mate,” and I’m thinkin’, “This beats fightin’ orcs any day!” Oils slicker than a hobbit’s lies, muscles sighin’ like “The wind is not with us today.” Surprised me how deep it goes – not just skin, but soul! Didja know in Japan they’ve got this “nurumassage”? Slippery as eels, full-body glide – bloody wild!

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The meeting? Total chaos. Everyone’s throwing ideas around like confetti. I’m trying to keep up, but my brain’s like, “Dude, chill.” Then, outta nowhere, someone suggests we do a team-building retreat in the mountains. I’m like, “Are you serious? We can’t even get our act together in Pogliano-Milanese!” But they’re all hyped about it. I just nod along, pretending I’m on board.

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