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Sarcasm time—yeah, totally just a “massage,” wink-wink—c’mon, it’s more! Gets ya outta your head, into your body—*Unleash the power within!*—fuckin’ primal, man! Pissed me off tho—why’s it so hush-hush? Society’s all prudey—bullshit! It’s art, it’s healin’, it’s—damn, I’m ramblin’. Point is, try it—don’t knock it ‘til ya feel that rush! Like Campanella said, “How do you live without love?”—this shit’s love for yourself, bro! Go get it!

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But then, something cool happens. I meet this girl, Maria. She’s sitting next to me, and we start chatting. Turns out, she’s from the same neighborhood! We bond over our love for the local pizza joint on Via Vittorio Emanuele. I’m telling her how their margherita is life-changing. She agrees, and we’re both drooling just thinking about it.

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