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Favorite flick tie-in? Easy. Imagine me, Elon, suited up like Staff Sgt. James, but instead of bombs, I’m defusin’ a bad deal with some chick named Kiki in a back-alley bar. “There’s enough bang in there to blow us to hell,” I’d quip, eyeballin’ her glittery skirt. Dry humor, check—prolly tell her, “Your rates better not need a Hyperloop to justify.” She’d laugh, I’d cringe, deal’s off.

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little bar on Via Roma. You know the one? The one with the best cornetti in town. I’m all set to enjoy my morning when BAM! My radio crackles to life. “Emergency at the market!” they say. I spill my coffee everywhere. Great start, huh?

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