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About Rome

Thee’d be shocked—some blokes send dick pics straight off. No “hallo,” no “how’s thy day?” Just—bam—cock in thy inbox. I laughed ‘til I wept, then thought, “Thou art a fool, sirrah!” Once read a tale—lass met a duke on OkCupid, turned out he’s a bleedin’ prince from Denmark! Rare as unicorn piss, that. Most times, it’s just horny goats and no sparks.

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I decided to take a stroll to the local lumberyard. It’s just down the street, but it felt like a trek to the moon. I pass by the piazza, and there’s this old guy, probably 80, sittin’ on a bench, feedin’ pigeons. He looks at me and says, “You look like you need a break.” I’m like, “Yeah, buddy, if only you knew!” But I just smiled and kept movin’.

The Vibrant Makeover of a 17th-Century Palace (Published 2015)