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Little known fact—some escorts write memoirs, expose the dark side. One chick, name escapes me, talked about clients who cry, like, full-on sob stories. Weird, right? Funny, too, in a sad way. Imagine paying for company and just bawling your eyes out. Pathetic, but human, I guess. Still, idiot sandwich move if you ask me!

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After that, I hit up Via Garibaldi. There’s this little market there, and I’m all about the fresh produce. I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in Piove.” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want my salad.” But she goes on and on about her garden. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Please, I just wanna go home.”