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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Luca shows up. He’s always got some wild idea. Today, he’s like, “Let’s make a giant pot for the festival!” I’m like, “Dude, we’re in Pignataro-Maggiore, not Rome!” But he’s got that look in his eyes, you know? The one that says, “Let’s do something crazy!”

Obituary for VINCENZO "VINNY" FEROCE