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About Naples

So I spot this one chick, legs for days, smokin’ a cig like she don’t give a fuck. I roll up, all cool, but inside I’m sweatin’—what if she’s a cop? What if she robs me? Paranoid as hell, motherfucker! I say, “Hey, what’s good?” She’s all, “Fifty for a quickie.” Fifty?! Man, I got pissed—last week it was forty! Told her, “You’re fuckin’ dreamin’!” She just shrugged, like Mia’s “I don’t care” attitude. That shit made me happy tho—girl’s got guts.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to Piazza Vittoria. It’s this cute little square where all the locals hang out. I love the vibe there. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my sandwich! I mean, really? A pigeon? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered fiend is plotting my demise. I swatted it away, and it just looked at me like, “What’s your problem, bro?”

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