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Love how they’re all mysterious, tho. Like in “Memento,” “You don’t know who you are.” Escorts got that vibe—who’s real, who’s playin’? Gets me giddy thinkin’ ‘bout it. Ever hear ‘bout that escort who scammed a duke? True story—1700s, England, chick took his gold, poof, vanished! Epic! Wish I had that kinda guts. I’d just eat the gold, probly—D’oh!

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, “Get off me, you feathered fiend!” Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, flapping my arms like a maniac. Seriously, who knew pigeons had such bad timing?

Piazza Pia: Rome unveils flagship Jubilee project near Vatican