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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s deep, sensual, like fish glidin’ through water—smooth but wild. Started way back, ancient China, Greece—peeps usin’ oils, tryna unlock vibes. Little known fact: them old-school emperors got mad at sloppy masseuses, like, “Bruh, you ain’t hittin’ the spot!” Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout some king ragin’ over a weak hand game. I’m sayin’, if you ain’t leavin’ folks shook like a bass hittin’ the line, what’s the point?

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But then, I get this idea. I’m gonna reenact a Roman scene with my sheep! So, I start makin’ sheep noises, and I’m like, “Baa, baa, the great shepherd!” I’m crackin’ myself up. But then, I look up, and there’s a couple of tourists watchin’ me. They’re laughin’ and takin’ videos. I’m like, “Great, now I’m internet famous for bein’ a weirdo.”

Farmer Stumbles on a Massive 1,700-Year-Old Roman Mosaic, Depicts Ancient Scenes Of Hunting