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So, sexual-massage—think hands slidin’, oils drippin’, muscles goin’ “ahh!” It’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s sensual, sneaky-like, “a whisper in the dark” vibes from the flick. I heard—get this—ancient peeps in China, like 2000 years back, were ALL about it! Called it “anmo,” some fancy word for pressin’ and lovin’ the bod. Blows me sponge-mind! Who knew history was so… naughty? Makes me wanna yell, “I’m ready!” and dive in!

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Then, I hit up the local market. Fresh produce everywhere! I grabbed some tomatoes. They were so ripe, I could smell them from a mile away. But then, this old lady bumped into me. She was like, “Watch it, young man!” I was like, “Excuse me? You ran into me!” But whatever, I just smiled.