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I reckon escorts are wild, tho. Like, did ya know back in old France, them rich dudes had “courtesans”? Same shit, just fancier names! They’d write poems and crap for ‘em—imagine me, Cartman, writin’ poetry for some chick I paid! “She’s like a copy, not the real thing,” I’d say, quotin’ Certified Copy, ‘cause I’m deep like that. Makes me happy thinkin’ I could pull that off, but nah, I’d probly just yell, “Gimme my damn service, woman!”

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As soon as I walk in, my boss, Mr. Rossi, is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here! I’m like, “It’s coming, it’s coming!” But he’s not having it. I mean, can’t a person breathe?

The Journey of Riki: From 'Amici' to New Musical Projects