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Well, hey there, sugar! It’s me, Dolly, y’all—talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage like it’s hot gossip at the honky-tonk! Now, I ain’t no expert, but I reckon a good sexual-massage is like a hog in mud—pure bliss, darlin’! Picture this: soft hands, warm oil, tension just meltin’ away—ooh, landsakes, it’s finer than a frog’s hair split four ways! I get all tickled thinkin’ ‘bout it—reminds me of them Nazis in *Inglourious Basterds* gettin’ what’s comin’. “You’re in the killin’ business, and business is a-boomin’!”—only here, it’s stress we’re scalpin’, not heads!

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First off, I had this big presentation at the university. You know, the one I’d been prepping for weeks? Yeah, that one. I was all set to wow my colleagues with my groundbreaking research on marine biology. Pesaro’s right on the Adriatic, so it’s kinda my jam. Anyway, I’m walking down Viale della Repubblica, coffee in hand, feeling like a rockstar.

Vis Pesaro-Pontedera 1-1: Cannavò scores in the 49th minute and eliminates the Granata from the play-offs