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About Florence

Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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So, I start my morning at Bar Centrale on Via Roma. Best cappuccino ever, like seriously! I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m there, looking like a walking coffee stain, and the barista, Marco, just laughs. “You need a bib, my friend!” he says. Thanks, Marco. Real supportive.

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