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About Bari

Yo, what’s good, fam? Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson here—raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m an insurance agent by day, slingin’ policies like a champ, but let’s talk sex-dating, ‘cause that’s where the real action’s at! Man, sex-dating’s wild—like ropin’ cattle in Brokeback Mountain, ya feel me? “I wish I knew how to quit you,” that’s me with them spicy apps, swipin’ left and right, tryna find somethin’ real—or at least real freaky.

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That wasn't a relationship. It was pure animal sex. And he was disgusting.

Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I hit up this spot on Via della Moscova. They’ve got the best pasta. I order some carbonara, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinking, “What park?” Turns out, he’s at Sempione Park, and I’m like, “Fine, I’ll be there.”

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