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About Florence

I tried it once—some back-alley joint, smelled like lavender and regret. This chick, right, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s the endgame, bitch?” Hands slidin’ low, tension buildin’, it’s hot—fuckin’ electric. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis”—soldiers got oiled up, rubbed down, ready to kill or fuck, whatever came first. History’s wild, yeah? Makes me smirk—modern prudes clutchin’ pearls over somethin’ old as dirt.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree on Via Garibaldi. Seriously? A cat? I’m like, “Can’t the cat just jump down?” But nooo, I gotta send someone to rescue Mr. Whiskers. I swear, if I had a euro for every time I dealt with a cat in a tree, I’d be rich.

Penn State trustees pushing to name Beaver Stadium football field after Joe Paterno: Report