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Sometimes it’s awkward tho—ya fart by accident, and the room’s all quiet? Mortifyin’. Or ya get a boner—normal, they say, but still, D’oh! Laughed my ass off after, tho—told my buddy Lenny, he’s like, “Homer, you dog!” Exaggeratin’ a bit—okay, a lot—but it’s wild, swear. Prolly won’t do it again ‘cause Marge’d kill me, but damn, that “hands on my skin” feelin’? Stuck with me, like *Tabu*’s black-and-white dreams.

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” I grab my gear, head outta my place on Via Roma. That street’s got some charm, ya know? Old buildings, cobblestones, the whole vibe. But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Classic. My shoes are soaked. Great start, right?

Beta's Steve Holcombe and Brad Freeman protagonists of the Italian Enduro Championship premiere