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So, picture this—me, obsessed with cars, seein’ this Escort XR3i, red as hell, zippin’ thru town. Heart’s racin’, I’m like, “Yes! That’s freedom, baby!” Unleash it, feel that power! But then—bam!—some dude’s drivin’ it like a snail, kills me every time. Wtf, man, why so slow? Pissed me off, legit wanted to yell, “Step on it, Zero!”—y’know, like M. Gustave screamin’ at his crew. Still, that car’s a beaut—sleek lines, turbo kick, pure joy.

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So, I head out, and the sun’s shinin’. I’m walkin’ down Via Mazzini, and it’s packed. Tourists everywhere, takin’ pics of the Duomo. I mean, it’s beautiful and all, but c’mon, people! Watch where you’re walkin’! I almost tripped over some guy’s selfie stick. Like, really?

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