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Then – get this – she says, “No kissin, just business.” What a kick in the bollocks! Surprised me, that did. Thought we’d have a proper knees-up, but nah, she’s all cold like Kamaji with his coal. “Fine,” I says, “let’s get it done.” Took her to this dodgy flat – wallpaper peelin like a bad riff. Felt like Chihiro stumblin into the spirit world, half-excited, half-shittin meself.

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But then, this little kid runs up and says, “That looks awesome!” I’m like, “Thanks, kid! You’re my new best friend!”

Parma Police looking for driver who seriously injured mother, 2-year-old in hit and skip